“Finding love in all the right places …and in all the wrong ways” (117) talks about defining the relationship or the DTR; there are three ways to look at relationships; we need to learn when to yield, stop or run with yellow, red and green lights.“Going deeper” (163) reminds us to think of where we are in life.Deal states “Single people need that perspective so that won’t overvalue getting married, and married people need that perspective so they won’t lose sight of their purpose in being together.” (165) “Marital Commitment and Stepfamily Preparation” (181) is the topic of the third section of the book.
Guidelines are given about what things to look for such as commitment and trust issues, how to be open with the children (young and adult).
Some key steps in how to become a blended family are listed.
Deal suggests exercises on how to be introduced, recognize loss in your child, planning the wedding and including the children, and telling the ex.
In the book Dating and the Single Parent Ron Deal walks the single parent through the process of dating again. Section one has five chapters and is titled “Getting Past the Butterflies and Warm Fuzzes.” In the beginning Deal starts with “Dating in a Crowd: Dating with Purpose.” (29) With this in mind the reader begins to understand you will be dating the entire family.
Deal describes different types of daters, and warns the reader against the “Consumer daters who want guarantees” (44) about the dates.
These consumer daters want the dates to be their all in all and meet their every need.
Deal also describes the thought of “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall; Am I Ready to Date?
(47) This section describes “the impact loss has on you, and your willingness to surrender to God’s direction regarding divorce and remarriage.” (58) While determining if you are ready to date; Deal lists the readiness factors: can you handle being alone, trusting in God, looking at past issues, and asking the questions like, “What in my past can I not shake?
” This is getting yourself and kids ready for dating.
While thinking of fear as the main hurdle in beginning to date, Deal suggests you not “sidestep” (83) your fear but “acknowledge it.” (83) Not only your fear but how to handle the kids’ fears and concerns in the dating world.
Deal explains “When a parent dates, kids feel the shift in direction away from them and the family; this ignites their fear of more loss.” (98) The second section of the book is called “Going Fishing” (115) and talks about finding love.