Pain and grief become less intense, though, and you remember happy times. Three years on, I decided to start experimenting with internet dating sites, and I included on my profile that I was a widow. He was attractive, a property agent, nine years older than me and separated.I was new to the dating game so it was always going to be a bit stilted, but we kept in touch as friends. Clive never treated me as ‘the widow’, and made me laugh, which I so needed.
Olivia was my big concern, but she really took to him and his daughter Isabelle, seven. At the start of 2008, I returned to work in an admin role.
I didn’t feel guilty as Sacha wanted me to find someone else. But we’ll never forget Sacha and he’ll always be a big part of Olivia’s life. But he’d been born with neurofibromatosis, where benign tumours would grow throughout his body, and in 2005 a tumour in his pelvis turned out to be malignant. But then I woke one day thinking was this really it? Gary was never coming back and my kids would never have their dad.
Clive felt more guilt as Sacha’s loss was his gain. It wasn’t replacing someone but establishing a new norm. We married in April 2012 with Sacha’s brother Charlie doing my father-of-the-bride speech. The Sacha Borthwick Foundation: uk ; The Child Bereavement Charity uk Nurse Paula Reid-Smart, 38, from near Rayleigh, Essex, lost husband Gary Reid, leaving her to look after their children Bethany, seven, and Joshua, five. I’d never have imagined I could meet someone else so soon after losing Gary. After surgery, he started chemotherapy and radiotherapy and after two years his scans were clear. I knew I had to pick myself up and in the February, I went along to Widowed Young Support, a support group run by a national charity Care for the Family.
When the end came in July 2007, I walked from the hospital feeling outraged at how unfair life was.
I remember little of the funeral – nature’s way of softening the blow.
Olivia was really sad so I took her to group sessions at the charity Child Bereavement UK.
It was heartbreaking to hear her say her daddy had died, but it helped her.
Full-time mum Lucy Borthwick-Harriss, 41, from near Aylesbury, Bucks, lost her husband Sacha Borthwick, leaving her with Olivia, four. It was a shock but Sacha was very strong-minded and a year on, he’d beaten it.
Just months later he was diagnosed with aggressive lymphoma.
After 10 fantastic years we married and had Olivia.
But six months later, the cancer returned and kept coming back over four years until his body couldn’t take any more.