piece on “Dating While Christian.” In it, Katherine Myers writes about living in urban centers of intellectual liberalism, where she feels obligated to hide her Christianity out of fear of being mocked or marginalized.
But the striking aspect here to me is not her Christianity—surely even in the cold, calculating metropolis there are loads of other liberal believers just like her—but rather the embarrassment, the sense that it must be revealed as a flaw you hope someone has the generosity of spirit to not reject you for.
This isn’t an STD or a secret family—it’s a deeply personal belief about the higher order of things, and really, one woman’s Jesus is another’s astrology, ghosts, or reality TV.
And yet, isn’t this ultimately how everyone feels about dating or the search for love?
While coming out as gay is still beyond fraught in many places and the comparison feels absolutely tone-deaf (as does much of the rest of the piece), I’ll kindly set that aside for the sake of Myers’ intended point, which ultimately reveals an unease with the fact that she needs religion—to deal with her brother’s drug addiction, to give herself time and space to “think about the hard things”—and how that plays out in her ability to feel worthwhile, or lovable.
And rather than simply being open about this—she’s a person who believes in God, it comforts her, what of it?
—she hides her Bible under the jacket copy of the latest fiction and pretends she just got out of Pilates on Sunday when she runs late to meet friends for brunch.Myers describes her dating life: Dating, however, was touch and go.Classy lady that I am, I waited until the second or third date to discuss my faith.The right guys got it and saw the appeal; a good guy at least thought it was kind of interesting.Once, eating takeout and watching TV with a lovely, kinda boring guy, I got annoyed by one of Bill Maher’s atheist tirades. ” Many more guys balked and told me, in so many words, that religion was pretty much a deal breaker for them.It made all spiritual people sound like idiots and assholes.“Oh, shit,” my date said. Myers gets why—she used to balk at Christians, too, and certainly understands the stereotype of uneducated Republican pro-lifer.