That’s easier said than done in the age of Twitter and Facebook, so the new-and-improved guide — “Not Your Mother’s Rules: The New Secrets for Dating” — urges women to play hard-to-get with social media.
The women who wrote the seminal — some say retrograde — 1995 dating guide “The Rules” have updated their book for the 21st century, but haven’t changed the main rule for women: Play hard to get.
“You don’t respond to everything in a nano-second,” said Fein.
“Let some mystery grow.” The next step: Control your texting.
An entire chapter is dedicated to how and when to do it, complete with a text-back time chart based on age. Older women should wait at least four hours — longer if possible. “I wouldn’t sext with someone until there’s a ring on my finger,” said Fein.
“Don’t send any emails, pictures or texts you would take back if you broke up.” Women should never email after midnight, write on a guy’s Facebook wall, or try to friend all his friends and family.
“I know girls who go to a guy’s Facebook page and study it like it’s the Talmud,” said Fein.
“That’s not going to help.” Above all, don’t post schlubby pictures of yourself eating pizza alone on a Saturday night, tweet crazy rants, or cyberstalk him.
Others noted that Fein was an accountant and Schneider a freelance journalist without professional qualification in the subject matter.
Fein married and divorced, and has recently remarried. The authors admitted they were not professionals in an appearance on NBC's The Today Show.
though there is no body of evidence to support this.
Another criticism is that because The Rules advise rarely returning phone calls and other such hard-to-get dating methods, some men may have trouble telling the difference between a woman who is genuinely not interested (or not interested anymore) and one who is genuinely interested, thus leading to misunderstandings and stalkers; not only for women using The Rules, but any man who believes all women are playing similar games even when they are not.
Proponents of the methods offered in the book point to The Rules as having positive results for both men and women.